For the uninitiated, the Trojan Rewind is a show that airs on FSN at 10:30pm on Tuesdays. It is a recap of gameday told by on-field and on-campus cameras. The camera operators happen to be perverts (like us) and are always zeroing in on the hottest co-eds of the crowd. These flashes of brilliance can now be immortalized on the Internet. This is "Girls of the Rewind".

10. During breakfast, you ask your son to pass the Nokia Sugar Bowl

9. Canceled family trip to Mexico, going to Boise State instead

8. Mailed nude photos of yourself to Brent Musburger

7. Insist on being called "Coach" even though you're a dentist

6. Told your daughter, "I'd love to go to your wedding, but the Northern Illinois-TCU is on"

5. Every time you walk ten yards, three of your friends have to move the chains

4. Instead of a shower, you dump a bucket of Gatorade on yourself

3. Always asking, "What would Joe Paterno do?"

2. Your solution to Iraq-- "I dunno, a playoff system?"

1. In bed, your wife says, "Get a Trojan" -- you come back with USC Kicker Mario Danelo

Late Show: Top Ten Signs You're Watching Too Much College Football [CBS - Thanks, Elana!]

Please do not prolong the withering career of Big and Rich another second.

The specialized lyrics may keep them on the ESPN payroll for another year, but the mayfly's life that is their career is done. We have lyrics for their final "special edition" song:

Well we're coming!
And we're shittaayyyyy!

If you wanna little (SPLASH! AIIGGHHHH!!! ROAAAARgggHHHH fip fip fip fip fip fip..aaiiighhn...)

That noise is a shipping container full of hungry, rabid wolverines being dropped on top of the C-list country duo just after being doused in chicken blood. If the budget doesn't allow for this, we'll understand. But after two years, it should be clear that no one wants any more ting in their ting tang, no matter how delightfully suggestive that may sound, since it would involve Big and Rich, whose appearance would serve as a powerful contraceptive to all but the most beer-soaked and undiscriminating brood mare.

THEY'RE COMAAAHHHHNNGGG!!! [EDSBS]

Blogging ROY-frontrunner Kissing Suzy Kolber has kindly submitted an analysis of the standard-issue bar menu you will encounter on any Saturday or Sunday this fall, should you have to venture away from your beloved flatscreen for one of the Trojans' away games. While we don't agree with all of their assessments (buffalo wings without celery are totally Unamerican):

Nachos
Nachos really share top billing with Buffalo wings. But you need fellow diners that are going to be sensitive about the chip-to-topping ratio. Ideally, you want each chip to have a little cheese, chicken, sour cream, jalapenos, guacamole and hot sauce. It never works out that way, because fucking Jim had to go and scoop up all the guacamole with one goddamn chip. What the fuck is wrong with you, Jim, you ungodly fat fuck?! And stop hitting on my sister! She's already said she's not interested!

Many restaurants also include chopped olives on nachos. I'd like to start a campaign against this. Olives are sweaty cherries. GRADE: A

Mmmm....where's the nearest Chili's ("The New Golf Course. It's where business happens." -Small Businessman Magazine)?

KSK Indoor Tailgate: Your 2006 NFL Bar Menu Guide [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

If you want to see the Juice's latest work, featuring him in "candid" reality scenes disguised as an Elvis impersonator, a vagabond selling oranges for money, and an elderly man leading a Bingo game, check your local listings and find out when JUICED is on Pay-Per-View in your area.

And to all your superstar athletes out there -- maybe now's a good time to call someone about INVESTING some of that dough.

Update: After the jump, we've got a clip (Warning: Briefly contains NSFW content and blurry camera work) from the opening credits of Juiced (via Deadspin).

Get Juiced [Official Site]
O.J. Simpson, Unplugged [Deadspin]
O.J. pretends to sell white Bronco for TV program [ESPN]

Broadcast will be live from 7:30-9:00am Saturday.

ESPN setup to show off Tempe sites [The Arizona Republic]

Extensive coverage and interviews.

Set your TiVo's accordingly.