"This is the most talented college football team I've seen since I had to do pre-draft work on the Florida State teams of the mid- to late-1990s."

"They had the most guys in the country drafted last year and a couple of NFL general managers have told me: 'They might have more drafted next year.' They definitely have been in a league of their own in the decade from 2000 on."

Groh glad to have Trojans as the opener [The Roanoke Times]

Scott Wolf proposes the revolutionary idea of the team-themed cemetery for USC, which is of course based on a real German idea about a Hamburg-HSV-themed cemetery for diehard soccer fans, which is “of-course” worthy since in all matters thanatological the Germans are at the forefront, both in terms of inventing new ways for people to die and in ways of making death a vital nutrient in you daily diet of experience. (They invented mustard gas and DeathTV. QEDMF.)

USC doesn’t seem to be the most promising market, though. Death in L.A. just lets everyone down, because it’s so selfish of you to leave like that, and because you’ll get all old and wrinkled and boring like dead people always are. (You will be, however, very, very thin. Jealous!)

We instead offer alternatives business proposals fresh off the drawing table at EDSBS Capital Development, free of charge because we’ve just got too many ideas to turn them all into spun gold sweatervests, you know.

Tennessee: Tasteful, extra-large vaults overlooking the Tennessee River on 12 acres of verdant prime real estate. Amenities will include Erik Ainge “blessing” your headstone by attempting to hit it, and then missing completely and throwing to a waiting groundskeeper for a crippling INT. Discounts for all plots crapped on by Smokey during visits. Visits by boat only, of course. No Catholics, and no same-sex couples in the “Reggie White Section.” Double-wide plots and orange and white checkerboard sod available for extra fees.

Ohio State: Located within a punt’s distance of the ‘Shoe, Buckeye Timbers promises that when you’re a cloud of dust three yards deep, your stay here will be just like a Buckeye scoring drive: dignified, slow, and as long as eternity itself. Ranked number two in the nation for thre years running, Buckeye Timbers’ special features include vault supports that are the exact thickness of Eddie George’s thighs, audio tribute boxes that answer “I-O” when you cheer “O-H” at them on selected headstones, and the centerpiece of the installation, our signature fountain “Eternal Victory,” featuring a cherubic Woody Hayes urinating on the face of a drowning Bo Schmebechler forever.

Notice: Pepper spray is applied to the ground twice daily, and only during visiting hours.

Washington: Husky Meadows, where you can be as serenely dead as the Huskies football program itself! Long list of features pending, but nothing developed as of yet. We blame former management for the inconvenience.

Oklahoma State: Assuredly already in the works, and thus beyond parody. We expect wind-powered fountains and the option to buried in piles of pure, unmarked bills. Headstones should predictably include epitaphs like “Here lies T. Boone Pickens HE WAS A MAN; HE WAS EIGHTY-NINE.”

Florida. Serene live oaks and waving Spanish Moss welcome you to Gator Arbors, where you will be guaranteed the loudest eternal rest of your lives. A constant temperature of 97 degrees is maintained through the use of 935 individual heat lamps to simulate the actual conditions within the Swamp, and to be sure you’ll be completely at home, at state of the art stereo system blasts crowd noise at 100 decibels at all times. Special features include the Text Tribute feature, where you may send Urban Meyer-esque messages to your loved ones from beyond the grave. (”MSSING U VALHLLA IZ TEH SHIT!”)

Leave your own suggestions for our capital development committee below.

South Carolina native and four star receiver Alshon Jeffrey has given USC a solid verbal to add himself to the Trojans' already phenomenal '09 class. The 6'-3, 214lbs Jeffrey called USC his "dream school" and is touted by Rivals as the #16th ranked receiver in the nation. But Jeffrey's talent isn't limited to receiving alone. The Calhoun County High School star puts Bo Jackson to shame, playing wide receiver on offense, safety on defense in addition to being an award winning basketball forward. The TandD.com reported in November of 2007:

On the football field, Jeffrey finished the year with 33 receptions for 855 yards and 12 touchdowns on offense and 25 tackles, seven interceptions and two touchdowns [as a safety] on defense. On the basketball court last season, he was named the Region 4-A Player of the Year and was an All-State selection after averaging 17.9 points, five rebounds and five assists per game while helping lead the Saints to a perfect 28-0 record and a Class A State Championship win over Baptist Hill.

Jeffrey chose to play football for the Trojans despite basketball offers from powerhouses North Carolina, Tennessee and Kentucky, and over football offers from top programs like Tennessee, Alabama, Clemson, South Carolina, Florida, Florida State and Colorado.

So who does Phil say has the most difficult schedule? Georgia

See if you can find a trend in Steele's top 10 difficult schedules:

1 - Georgia
2 - Florida
3 - Arkansas
4 - UCLA
4 - Alabama
6 - Auburn
7 - Ohio State
7 - Kentucky
9 - Colorado
9 - Baylor
9 - Washington
9 - Oregon State

Again, I don't think this is the proper way to rank strength of schedule, but... it's a Monday in May and ya take what you can get, ya know?

Comment on Ranking the 2008 schedules...

A few highlights....

Champs Sports Bowl ... Virginia vs. Illinois
Meineke Car Care Bowl ... Florida State vs. Pitt
Texas Bowl ... Colorado vs. Rutgers
PetroSun Independence Bowl ... Nebraska vs. Arkansas
Alamo Bowl ... Michigan State vs. Kansas
Pacific Life Holiday Bowl ... Texas vs. Oregon
Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl ... Wake Forest vs. Alabama
Chick-fil-A Bowl ... Boston College vs. South Carolina
Outback Bowl ... Michigan vs. LSU
Konica Minolta Gator Bowl ... Miami vs. Notre Dame
Capital One Bowl ... Penn State vs. Auburn
AT&T Cotton Bowl ... Oklahoma vs. Tennessee

Rose Bowl presented by Citi ... Wisconsin vs. USC
CFN is basically rubber stamping the winner of USC - Ohio State into the National Championship game. From the outcome of this prediction, I guess CFN is throwing in with the Buckeyes. This one looks dead on to me, unless USC ends up in the championship game, then this one becomes tOSU against the Sun Devils.

Allstate Sugar Bowl ... Georgia vs. Virginia Tech
By putting the Bulldogs into the Sugar, CFN is calling the WLOCP the defacto SEC championship. Take that as you will, Georgia fans. Va Tech looks like the class of the ACC, but CFN pulls them into the Sugar as an at-large. If there's one conference that has proven itself to be way to whacked out to predict, it's the ACC. I think Georgia/Arkansas are safe SEC picks, but give me Clemson from the ACC side.

Tostitos Fiesta Bowl ... Missouri vs. West Virginia
The Fiesta gets its traditional first pick of the at-large teams and takes the 'Eers. I'm not sure that Missouri will be the Big XII champs. CFN is hedging, with Texas Tech as their second choice, but... I wouldn't count out the Sooners... ever. I think Oklahoma - West Virginia makes more sense.

FedEx Orange Bowl ... Clemson vs. Texas Tech
If there is one prediction that I think is off the mark, it's CFN's prognostication for the Orange. I would be willing to take the field here at any odds, because I don't see a Tigers - Red Raiders matchup in Miami. I think the Hokies are the most likely candidate here for the ACC, versus an at-large team. For my prediction, give me VaTech (ACC Champs) versus Arizona State (at-large) or maybe even Utah (at-large).

FedEx BCS National Championship ... Ohio State vs. Florida
The Buckeyes and Gators in the National Championship game... where have we seen that before? This one is just as likely to be USC-Florida, which would probably be the highest rated college football game ever. If Florida gets to the BCS title game and wins, I think you will have seen the last of #15 in orange and blue. Just sayin'.

Comment on CFN posts its 2008 Bowl Game Predictions...

The NCAA’s Academic Performance Program (APP) is creating positive behavioral change among Division I institutions, according to new four-year data released May 6.

The multi-year Academic Progress Rate (APR) data – with four years of data collection available for the first time – show upward trends in several categories, especially from 2005-06 to 2006-07.

GET DOWN, PARTY PEOPLE! GET DOWN!

We’re still digging through the data for this year, made even more fun by the NCAA’s propensity for releasing a press release on one page, a commentary on another, a spreadsheet here, a comprehensive list hosted on a Russian Military server and only accessible via several hours of white-knuckle hackery. Fortunately, the Indy Star has them all compiled nicely for you so you can revel in the uproarious ironies of a system where the University of Florida’s football team is on par with the United States Military Academy’s team in academic performance, and where Eastern Kentucky pwnz them both.

In the meantime, the only penalties of any relevance to college football go to Kansas and Washington State, who will suffer scholarship losses due to underwhelming APR scores. NCAA, beware: Mark Mangino will have his real estate agent call you to voice his displeasure with your metrics!

• In case you missed it, Mark Sanchez was named starting quarterback. I relegated this to Hot Links because it wasn't exactly news to anybody except Mitch Mustain. That's no knock against Mitch -- he needs to keep that mentality all the way into the fall to keep competing and trying to pass Sanchez for the starting job. Ultimately, the first game is a long way away.
• Now that the quarterback race has cooled off, time to focus on the really interesting logjam: tailbacks.
• Sunday Morning QB's "Absurdly Premature Assessment" series has tackled USC's first opponent: Virginia.
• The U.S. Army All-America Bowl is up to four USC commits.

USC Basketball

• More hype is building about DeMar DeRozan's "freakish athletic ability."

Other USC News

Bobak emailed us some interesting admission stats from this year:

• UCLA (4/14/08): "the university was able to admit 22.7 percent of all those who applied, compared with 23.6 percent last year."
• USC (03/28/08): "21.0 percent were accepted this year, compared to 24.8 percent in 2007."
• So it's official ... USC now has a lower admission rate than UCLA. But 15 years ago, USC admitted a whopping 70% of applicants.
  

Assorted Gossip

• Always protect the ball. Florida learned the hard way -- to the tune of $4,000. They broke their BCS trophy.
• Hey, at least it can be replaced. Alabama misspelled their team captains name. In cement.
• As part of ESPN's quest to dub a city Title Town, USA, Eric Neel made an argument for LA.
• Want another reason to hate artificial turf? How about lead?

From Rivals.com:

PAT RUEL – USC

BUZZ:  Ruel was a serious candidate for national recruiter of the year with an average star ranking for his six signees of 4.17.

He helped recruit five-star offensive linemen Matt Kalil and Tyron Smith, but he helped pull in one of the biggest Signing Day surprises when he able to get Rivals100 cornerback T.J. Bryant away from the grips of Miami and Florida State.

Coach Ruel was also named one of the top 25 recruiters nationally.  Also have to give credit to Coach Seto for helping with T.J. Bryant.  Excellent job by both coaches.