Definition: An expression describing what UCLA would be doing by forcing Norm Chow to stay against his will and endure another season alongside Douchenozzle when he wants to be back with his old band at USC. Is anyone really surprised that Rick has to stand in the doorway, physically and/or contractually, to keep people at his party?

Classic Bruin.

Elsewhere, the EDSBS Curious Index recap is, as expected, priceless.

Jack Del Rio as the new head coach, bringing Kennedy Pola and Norm Chow with him (no word on Orgeron). And perhaps the bigger story, Garrett to be replaced by Rich McKay, son of USC coaching legend John McKay.

Stay tuned as we try to confirm from other sources. Or just indulge in the hopeful dream of a Garrett-free athletic department with USC fans worldwide.

For the first time since 2001, the Trojans are not playing its last regular season game for the right to go to a BCS bowl. A Trojan win over Arizona in the Coliseum on Saturday puts them in the Holiday Bowl, most likely against Nebraska. A loss and they fall from a tie for 2nd in the Pac-10 standings to 6th and most likely a Poinsettia Bowl Bid which would represent a significant fall from the top of college football world.

4 keys to a Trojan victory:

Trojans must tackle well and get hands up against quick hitting offense: Arizona has the most dynamic offense in the Pac-10. It is a combination of offensive coordinator Sonny Dykes pure aerial Texas Tech style offense (former Texas Tech offensive coordinator) combined with Head Coach Mike Stoops smash mouth style of football.

The Wildcats loves to dink and dunk in a passing game that features tons of screens, bubble screens, swing passes and quick reads while also balancing the attack with a power run game behind a veteran offensive line. Arizona has 5 Wide Receiver with more than 30 catches and has adjusted to a 4 wide receiver set very well after losing All-American Tight End Ron Gronkowski to a back injury before the season.

Redshirt sophomore quarterback Nick Foles, who took over starting duties in the Wildcats' fourth game has been outstanding throwing for 17 scores and just seven interceptions, while completing more than two-thirds of his passes in the Wildcats' short-game passing attack. Arizona's quick-hitting style has kept the sack totals down - the Cats have allowed just 11 sacks in 2009.

keys to victory continued after the jump...

The offense still sputtered, but it was enough to win the game and that's all that matters. Matt Barkley's 48 yard touchdown pass to Damian Williams late in the 4th quarter capped off a great win over the crosstown rivals. Rick Neuheisel's arrogance and refusal to accept a merciful loss offered by Pete Carroll and USC completely backfired on him. You want to play some football, Ricky? You got it!

The UCLA Bruins were a touchdown away from tying the score for most of the game, and they could have taken pride knowing they hung in there until the final minutes of the 4th quarter. Now the Bruins have nothing to take pride in, thanks to Rick Neuheisel poking a stick at the wasp nest that is Pete Carroll and the USC Trojans. Even the Toilet Bowl is no guarantee for these little cubbies. At least USC is going bowling and their dominance over the finest Westwood has to offer continues.

And basketball, once a source of refuge for the bRuins after a crappy football season, is now a sore subject. UCLA hoops is a laughing stock and to consider them the best team in Southern California is a tasteless joke. Whatever you do, please do not mention Cal State Fullerton or Long Beach State when talking about UCLA basketball.

But come on, it's UCLA! Things are not all bad, right? After all they are the first to 100 NCAA Championships. Even though most normal college sports fans care about the successes of football and basketball and to a lesser extent in baseball, let them take pride knowing their women's cross country team or their men's synchronized diving team just won another NCAA title. It's enough to make you not care.

Jim Weber, proprietor of Lost Lettermen, the site that allows you to rediscover your favorite college stars, has just completed his latest and perhaps greatest project.

It's a six-part series titled "Before They Were Coaches." Jim went back and researched the background of every current coach of a Bowl Championship Series team. As you can see, he found some priceless photos along the way.

Did you know that Nick Saban grew up pumping gas at his father's station? Saban, a 5-foot-9 defensive back, wanted to play at West Virginia, but was deemed too small. Instead, he went to Kent State and played for Don James, who went on to coach 18 seasons at Washington, where he is still known as the  "Dawgfather."

Mark Mangino never played college football. The 5-foot-9, 230-pound defensive tackle graduated from high school in 1974, then spent a year as a janitor. He eventually became an assistant for Jim Tressel at Youngstown State and drove ambulances on the side for extra cash.

Jim Leavitt was a Big 8 batting champion with a .386 average at Missouri.

Tom O'Brien served nine years in the Marines. He was an air traffic controller in California and Japan.

Brian Kelly dreamed of a career in politics.

Bill Lynch played football and basketball at Butler. He once "held" Larry Bird to 47 points.

You can access all of links in the series by clicking here. Otherwise, here are links to each of the conferences: Southeastern, Big Ten, Big East, Big 12, Atlantic Coast and Pacific 10.

Two other links to mention. In August, Jim tracked down the whereabouts of all the living Heisman winners and what became of the winners who are deceased. Go to that link by clicking here.

In September, Jim was a guest on one of our podcasts and told the story of how he came up with the idea for his terrific site. Click here to access that link.

Jim Weber, proprietor of Lost Lettermen, the site that allows you to rediscover your favorite college stars, has just completed his latest and perhaps greatest project.

It's a six-part series titled "Before They Were Coaches." Jim went back and researched the background of every current coach of a Bowl Championship Series team. As you can see, he found some priceless photos along the way.

Did you know that Nick Saban grew up pumping gas at his father's station? Saban, a 5-foot-9 defensive back, wanted to play at West Virginia, but was deemed too small. Instead, he went to Kent State and played for Don James, who went on to coach 18 seasons at Washington, where he is still known as the  "Dawgfather."

Mark Mangino never played college football. The 5-foot-9, 230-pound defensive tackle graduated from high school in 1974, then spent a year as a janitor. He eventually became an assistant for Jim Tressel at Youngstown State and drove ambulances on the side for extra cash.

Jim Leavitt was a Big 8 batting champion with a .386 average at Missouri.

Tom O'Brien served nine years in the Marines. He was an air traffic controller in California and Japan.

Brian Kelly dreamed of a career in politics.

Bill Lynch played football and basketball at Butler. He once "held" Larry Bird to 47 points.

You can access all of links in the series by clicking here. Otherwise, here are links to each of the conferences: Southeastern, Big Ten, Big East, Big 12, Atlantic Coast and Pacific 10.

Two other links to mention. In August, Jim tracked down the whereabouts of all the living Heisman winners and what became of the winners who are deceased. Go to that link by clicking here.

In September, Jim was a guest on one of our podcasts and told the story of how he came up with the idea for his terrific site. Click here to access that link.

Defense highlights:

History repeats itself for the Golden Bears; they enter the season with lots of hype, only to fold like a bad hand in poker. Time for them to enter hibernation!

Cal's Heisman hopeful tailback, Jahvid Bust, was held to a season-low 47 rushing yards against USC. Meanwhile Joe McKnight looked the best out there, rushing for 119 yards and two touchdowns.

Cal's quarterback, Kevin Riley, really outdid himself this time. Just when you thought his passing completion rate of 38.7% against Oregon could not get any worse, he sunk to a new low against the Trojans with a completion rate of 37.5%.

Don't go into hibernation just yet; there are positives to be taken away from this game shown in the highlights.

Joe McKnight rushed for 100 yards on 11 carries, upping his current season total rush yards to 305. Could he be the first Trojan since Reggie Bush to rush for over 1000 yards in a season?

The offense struggled with the passing game, but there were some great runs by Stanley Havili, Stafon Johnson, and Allen Bradford.

USC's young defense did a great job containing Jake Locker and holding the Huskies to 16 points. If only the offense would have scored another touchdown or two. Sophomore Jurrell Casey and redshirt freshman Nick Perry set up camp in the Huskies' backfield.

Coaches pour a lot into their profession, and sometimes it comes at the expense of their home life.

Arizona's Mike Stoops announced this week that he and his wife, Nicole, are in the process of getting a divorce. Stoops is 47, Nicole 33. They were married in July 2001 and have two young children.

Stoops was visibly emotional when he made the announcement and said he will have no further comment on the matter.

So what went wrong? Wouldn't a marriage to a big-time coach be a dream life?

In November 2004, the Arizona Daily Star profiled Nicole in a piece titled "First lady of football — Coach's wife busily adjusts to life in the media spotlight." Here's an excerpt:

"She was working as an apartment property manager at the time she met Stoops, who was visiting Dallas for a football convention when the two struck up a conversation at a restaurant bar.

"She always expected someday she'd become a teacher and stay in Dallas the rest of her life, to be near her family. But then came an unplanned pregnancy and a choice. She and Mike weren't married at the time, and they ruled out getting married solely because of the pregnancy — they wanted to be sure they were meant for each other. They married when their daughter was 2.

" 'I've always had the utmost respect for him,' Stoops said of her husband. 'He's never let me down. I know that he will never abandon me or the children, no matter what happens, because he is just a good man. He takes care of us.'

"The couple have an age gap of 14 years. It keeps him young, she jokes, and her grounded. They're different in other ways as well.

"She's a sentimental sop, she admits, even to the point that she cries at greeting card commercials or the TV show 'Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.'

"He's the least romantic person on the planet. She tried to help, buying Mike a book with 1,001 ways to be romantic. It's been forgiven, but not forgotten, that while in Oklahoma, he once forgot her birthday, which happened to fall on a big game day."

Thanks to the Midwest Correspondent.

Eighth in a series on grounds for optimism and worry.

Biggest reason for hope -- An intact offensive line leads nine returning offensive starters.

Coaches often say it all starts with the offensive line (though this is an interesting contrarian argument), so the Trojans should be off to a good start with five starters returning and depth so talented it might unseat a veteran or two -- see tackle Tyron Smith challenging Butch Lewis. Kristofer O'Dowd is an All-American and may be the best center in the country. Guard Jeff Byers and tackle Charles Brown are All-Pac-10 guys who may get national honors, too. Last year, USC averaged 195 yards rushing per game and surrendered just 18 sacks, fewest in the conference. Best line in the nation? Maybe.

Biggest reason for concern -- This is probably the nation's toughest schedule.

Unlike many other programs in other conferences that hope to compare themselves to USC, the Trojans are not afraid of playing tough nonconference games on the road. Good for them, but some years it sets up a brutal slog of a schedule. USC figures to be the only team in the nation to play four nationally ranked opponents on the road -- Ohio State, California, Notre Dame and Oregon. The opener against San Jose State? Heck, the Spartans have won 20 games over the past three seasons since Dick Tomey took over. Toss in the quality depth of the Pac-10 and the round-robin conference schedule and no other team in the nation faces fewer weeks off than the Trojans.