Action News Power Rankings
Live from the Shrine Auditorium in the center of the universe -- sunny Los Angeles, California -- it's the TrojanWire 1,000th Post Spectacular Special. Featuring appearances by Reggie Bush, Salma Hayek, Matt Leinart, Paris Hilton, Pete Carroll, Carson Palmer, Stephen Colbert, Junior Seau, Snoop Dogg, Marcus Allen, Ted Knight, Bacon-wrapped Hot Dogs, Keith Rivers, Henry Winkler, Lofa Tatupu, Alyssa Milano, Charles White, Shrek, Anthony Davis, Kirsten Dunst, Oscar Lua, Judith Regan, and many more.
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Only two more weeks of Action News Power Rankings after this -- the final regular season rankings, and then the end of year rankings, following the conclusion of the bowl season. For now, here's your Week 14 breakdown:
T-Wire/Action News Pac-10 Power Rankings - Week 14
1.) USC
All that stands between Ron and another National Championship game is Veronica.
2.) Cal
Let's hope Wes fares better in San Diego against Texas A&M than they did against Texas Tech in 2004.
3.) Oregon State
For those of you scoring at home -- this Sunday in the Aloha Bowl, the Beavers are taking on a guy who got booted from Colorado for chasing the beaver.
[Editor's Note: We normally display 1-4 before the jump -- but honestly, there is enough of a separation between these three and the rest, 4-10 all deserve to reside after the jump exclusively]
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The Abbreviated Holiday/Turkeyfest Edition:
T-Wire/Action News Pac-10 Power Rankings - Week 13
1.) USC
Two down, two to go. This week, it's Quinn & Mom Jeans.
2.) Cal
Ouch.
3.) Oregon State
Vitchard has officially locked up #3.
4.) Arizona
Whammy! The Cats clawed their way back up to their week one Action News Power Ranking spot.
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Two straight weeks with the Trojans at #2. Feels cold. So very cold.
T-Wire/Action News Pac-10 Power Rankings - Week 11
1.) Cal
Just proud as a peach to spend another week at the top (even though that game with the girl gave them a bit of a scare). But at least some of the Bears aren't letting the bubbles go to their brain.
2.) USC
The final stretch of Brick, Mantooth, the Lucky Charms Leprechaun, and Veronica. And so it begins.
3.) Oregon
Gave Ed Harken a nice chocolate covered squirrel. Next up, Homecoming at Ron's Place.
4.) Oregon State
No letdown after their big win against Papa Burgundy. Took Fantana out back and hosed him down.
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Alright you jackals, you asked for it, you got it -- here's your first ever Action News Power Rankings without Papa Burgundy in the top slot. By all means, celebrate it now, because we all know how this story ends.
T-Wire/Action News Pac-10 Power Rankings - Week 10
1.) Cal
Congrats to Wes Mantooth on turning up #1 in the ratings. But you've still got to pay Ron a visit, so don't go getting those #1 t-shirts printed up for Tightwad Hill just yet.
2.) USC
Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast.
3.) Washington State
We'll repeat our warning from last week: Look out world -- Garth is hepped up on firewater and he's on the loose.
4.) Oregon
Pity the Division I-AA school (in this case, Portland State) who happens to draw Oregon the week after they lose to the Cougars. If it's possible, 55-12 doesn't really represent how big of a blowout this one was.
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Back by popular demand, it's your Week 9 Action News Power Rankings:
T-Wire/Action News Pac-10 Power Rankings - Week 9
1.) USC
Ron spent the week off pumpin' the guns and hanging with Merlin Olsen. All signs indicate that Papa Burgundy is rested and ready for some Beav.
2.) Cal
Got brought back down to earth a little bit with an OT win vs. an Isaiah Stanback-less U-Dub.
3.) Washington State
Look out world -- Garth is hepped up on firewater and he's on the loose.
4.) Oregon
Like we said last week, Ducks were thinking more about the Trojans than the Coug, and they paid the price.
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Just barely sneaking in before the start of action today, here's your Week 8 Action News Power Rankings:
T-Wire/Action News Pac-10 Power Rankings - Week 8
1.) USC
Ron's latest accomplishment -- most maligned 6-0 performance in modern history.
2.) Cal
Cal's student paper is already counting a W for the Bears' November 18th matchup with the Trojans. Guess we'll have to take your word for it, #2.
3.) Oregon
Ducks' focus (after losing the Patchouli Bowl) is on the pants party at Papa Burgundy's on November 11.
4.) Washington State
It's true, Garth moved UP after not scoring a TD at home with Wes Mantooth. But tell us this -- are there any teams at 5-10 who the Cougars couldn't beat right now?
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Administrative Note: We were contacted by the BCS, about possibly using the Action News Power Rankings as one of the rankings incorporated into the BCS aggregate. But we declined. Quite honestly, we're better than the BCS, and in time, everyone will come to covet our Action News Power Trophy more than any crystal football -- this much is certain.
Now, on with the Rankings:
T-Wire/Action News Pac-10 Power Rankings - Week 7
1.) USC
Ron Burgundy or Harry Houdini? You decide.
2.) Cal
Wes Mantooth stepped up big time against the Duckies. Coincidentally, the actor who portrays Mr. Mantooth also did quite well for himself this past weekend.
3.) Oregon
Pretty much got destroyed in the Battle for the Bronze Birkenstock and control of the Patchouli Belt. It kind of looked like Oregon had made fun of a dear Cal relative before the game or something. Not pretty.
4.) Washington
Sure they're coming off a tough loss to USC, but after what they did to UCLA, you really think we're going to put the Bruins ahead of the Huskies at this point?
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Setting: Week 6. Event: Action News Power Rankings.
All sorts of jostling, with more soon to come -- 1 vs. 4 and 2 vs. 3 THIS weekend. Viva College Football!
T-Wire/Action News Pac-10 Power Rankings - Week 6
1.) USC
Great Knights of Columbus, the injuries just keep on coming. Fortunately, so do the wins.
2.) Oregon
Absolutely destroyed the Sun Devils last Saturday. (Insert hilarious trident through chest joke here.) This Saturday -- a trip to Wes Mantooth's house, for the marquee matchup of the weekend.
3.) Cal
Big showdown for Mantooth and his team this week. The Battle for the Bronze Birkenstock is on.
4.) Washington
At 4-1, everyone's talking about the resurgence of Ed Harken's career. Finally got the kid to stop with the German pornography and LSD. Way to go, Ed!
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Here's your Action News Pac-10 Power Rankings for Week 5. The Bruins/Huskies and Sun Devils/Bears games account for most of the movement on our charts. This week we've got 5 Pac-10 games to follow -- finally!
T-Wire/Action News Pac-10 Power Rankings - Week 5
1.) USC
Great Odin's raven! Pete Carroll has a defense allowing only 9 points/game.
2.) Oregon
With a bye last week, the Ducks were busy sending out invitations to their pants party. Sadly, UCLA, eventhough invited -- did not attend -- deciding to get their ass-kicked by Washington instead.
3.) Cal
ASU must have insulted Dorothy Mantooth or something, because for the first time this year, Cal looked to be playing with something more than just spite over a flawed ratings system, and the fact that they don't take in account houses that have... uh... more than two television sets... and other things of that nature.
4.) Arizona State
There were horses, and a man on fire, and the ASU Sun Devils got killed with their own trident. Seriously, we think this could be the aftermath of an Oregon Duck invasion. After losses to Cal and Oregon, Arizona State will be smelling like Bigfoot's dick.
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Another week, another set of Action News Pac-10 Power Rankings. Very little movement this week -- almost every Pac-10 team (except Stanford) either played and won or didn't play.
T-Wire/Action News Pac-10 Power Rankings - Week 4
1.) USC
Tested against Nebraska, came out with an easy win. The Trojan defense looked solid on all but two plays -- a fake punt and a play where an obvious block in the back was missed by the refs (gotta love that Pac-10 officiating!).
2.) Oregon
Toughest test of the Ducks season yet, and they got out alive (even though they needed some referee intervention at that). Oregon's looking good at 3-0. Of course, they'll need to be better than good to get from 3-0 to 5-0, with their next two games AT Arizona State and Cal.
3.) Cal
Taught Portland State who's boss, just like they did to Minnesota. This week they go back to playing real teams, when the Sun Devils (who didn't exactly thrill against Colorado) come to town. The Showdown for #3 in the Power Rankings kicks off at 12:30pm pt.
4.) Arizona State
The good news -- they beat Colorado 21-3. The catch -- this year's Colorado team is 0-3 (including a loss to Montana State), so 21-3 isn't anything to write home about.
5.) UCLA
Took the week off. Rumors around the office said it had something to do with their periods attracting bears. Whatever the case, the Bru-crew drops 1 slot from a 4th place tie to 5th.*
6.) Arizona
28-10 over Stephen A. Austin? Probably too busy thinking about next week's matchup with Ron, and how much they miss his laugh and his scent.
7.) Washington
Beat Fresno State 21-20 -- almost enough to move them ahead of the Wildcats; a win this weekend against the Bruins would go a long way towards taking them seriously.
8.) Washington State
The Huskies beat Fresno State, the Beav didn't play, and the Cougs beat Baylor. So they're stuck at 8th. That's all we've got.
9.) Oregon State
They no play da football last week. This week they play Idaho. Oregon State -- always gotta do things differently. You're not impressing anybody.
10.) Stanford
How patriotic of the Cardinal, to let the Navy come in to Palo Alto and score 37 points. Great job guys.
* - Don't despair Bruin fans (b/c we know from our tracking that so many of you read us regularly) a Huskie pummeling this week (or a solid return by Hugh Johnson) combined with somebody getting beat resoundingly in the Cal-ASU game could move Tits McGee back into 4th.
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Another week, another set of Action News Pac-10 Power Rankings. Not a ton of movement up top, but some shuffling down below. Except of course for that bottom slot, which Stanford seems dead-set on keeping all season long.
T-Wire/Action News Pac-10 Power Rankings - Week 3
1.) USC
Even a week off and a controversial Yahoo! Sports article can't knock Papa Bear from his throne.
2.) Oregon
Played tough against the always formidable Bulldogs of Fresno State. Next up is the Ducks first REAL test -- Adrian Peterson and Oklahoma.
3.) Cal
Restored some dignity beating Minnesota. But didn't look nearly good enough to make anyone forget about Knoxville.
4.) (TIE) Arizona State
Rudy Carpenter obviously musked up before suiting up to play Nevada. With 594 yards passing and 7 TDs through 2 games, Ruuuuuudy! might even be emerging as a darkhorse Heisman candidate. Next up is Colorado, where Rudy will need to pad those stats some more, before an UGLY 3-week stretch against Cal, Oregon and USC.
4.) (TIE) UCLA
After a solid opener against Utah, Bruin enthusiasm was tempered somewhat with a less-than-impressive 26-16 victory over "The Stanford of Texas." This week Tits McGee heads north for its first conference game against Washington. We're waiting for this week's input from Hugh Johnson before we analyze the Baby Blues any further.
6.) Arizona
We didn't necessarily expect the Wildcats to BEAT LSU, especially after their tepid opener against BYU. But we at least thought they'd show up and play. Instead LSU turned the Wildcats' visit into their own personal Whammy-fest.
7.) Washington
After that shameful opening game against San Jose State, at least they showed up against Oklahoma -- putting up 20 points and forcing Adrian Peterson (Is there anyone else on his team? We didn't notice.) to actually work for the W.
8.) Washington State
Look out world -- Garth looked pretty tough against the Vandals of Idaho.
9.) Oregon State
Just when we started to get excited for the Beav (around the time they went up 14-0 on Boise State), somebody comes along and chops an arm off, to the tune of 42 unanswered points. Ouch.
10.) Stanford
With 2-0 Navy coming into town (and their MVP suspended for the game), an 0-3 start is looking pretty likely for the Tree People.
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